a size 14 :(

It's official, I'm a size 14 again. I'm weighing in at 208 these days. It's a total bummer! BUT, I think I've found my problem! My one and only coping mechanism as always been eating. Going back to school, and working two jobs, I'm always stressed out, so I'm overeating. Not only that, but I'm making really poor choices! So, I'm gonna stock up on carrots and bell peppers and celery and apples!

Insanity

I've been gone a LONG time! Yikes! A lot has happened since I've blogged. I've gained some weight (sad face) , I got divorced (another sad face), and not I'm going back to school! (Yay face!)

I'm thinking I need to get back into the habit of blogging. It made me accountable to myself at the end of the day. I got down to a size 8, and I was comfortable there. I'm now back into 12's and they're getting tight! I know it does NOT help that I work fast food, but I am in school and hoping to rectify that situation soon. I'm going into nursing and hoping to end up in a career as an LPN. I'll be too busy to snack all day. Right now I'm trying to figure out how I can afford to go to school full time, so I can get out of working fast food as soon as possible. I also need to look into learning a new coping mechanism. When I'm mad, I eat. When I'm stressed, I eat. It's not a good cycle for a single mom, with four kids, that's working and going to school.

I've already made the first step by backing off soda again. I let myself get hopelessly addicted to diet coke again, but I've slowed down, a lot lately. I spent about a week without pop to break the craving, and I limit myself to one a day now. Next, I need to figure out how to move more. I know I'm not getting enough exercise to lose weight. I need to find some me time and get sweaty everyday! I'm working on controlling my portions again too. I'm not very good at dieting, I don't know why, but being ON A DIET makes me hungry! But I am also working on eating less at each setting. I'm telling myself, again, that it's okay to leave food on my plate when I'm done. I guess it's a blessing to have a 12 year old boy that's a bottomless pit? He'll eat mom's leftovers in a heartbeat! Ha ha. They're small steps, and I don't want to take them all too fast, because I'm worried that I'll get overwhelmed and give up. I want to lose about 30 or 40 pounds. That will put me back where I felt great, and looked okay to.

I missed my blog, and I'm hoping to post more regularly now.
Wish me luck!

busy bee

Gosh, I've been busy lately! I don't know where the time has gone! I can't believe the holidays are here! It's insane!

I had my gall bladder a few weeks ago, so I'm feeling MUCH better now! The surgeon that did it knew Dr. Nelson, and he said that she did a REALLY good job on my gastric bypass. Go, Dr. Nelson! I had to call and brag to her about it. I left her a message that he'd said she was awesome.

I got transferred to another store last month, so I've been crazy busy with work. I finally got a weekend off work coming up. I get to spend some time with my kiddos, and go out with friends! Yay for me!

I lost a little more weight after the gall bladder surgery. They didn't let me eat for like 36 hours! I thought I was gonna......well maybe not die, but I was so hungry! Afterwards I felt like my pouch was brand new. I'm just now getting to where I can eat more than two or three bites at a time. Before I was hovering around 165, now I hover around 160, give or take a couple pounds. I actually saw a couple 159's! I can't remember the last time I saw number this low on the scale! I remember the 260's, but not the 160's!

So Thanksgiving is hear again, I can't wait! I love me some turkey! I think I'm gonna have two big dinners that day! Whew! I have a get together at my sisters new house that afternoon. I can't wait to see her place! (Which reminds me, I'd better be getting directions here soon!) Then, later that evening, I think I'm gonna have a get together with my friends too. Nothing too big, just some good food, and maybe play some cards or something! That's something I miss about growing up. I can remember sitting at my Mema's house and playing cards ALL day it seemed! I loved playing cards, still do!

Well, I'm gonna get off of here, got stuff to do, like I said, busy busy! Catch you all later, have a fantastic Thanksgiving! Sarah

looks like surgery

I had my gall bladder ultrasound today. I don't know what the doctors say yet, but from what the technician said, it looks like I'm going to need to have it removed. I have multiple gallstones. She said they're small, but there are several of them. I'm not really worried about the surgery. I trust Dr. Nealson and her judgment completely. I'm just a little anxious. I'd be crazy not to be, right?

I have BSM (Basic Shift Management) class next week. Yay for me. I'm really looking forward to that! I like learning something new, and I like my job, so I'm sure I'll enjoy a few days away from the store and in a learning environment. PLUS! It'll help me get my next promotion! Yay again for me! I never imagined running my own store, and I don't reckon that's where I'm headed, but who knows? Maybe someday? I mean my store manager is awesome and he's a couple years younger than me! Maybe someday I'll run my own store, who knows? I'm looking forward to the next step though. Assistant Management, here I come.

12 mo. post op appointment

My appointment went pretty well. I to get an ultrasound of my gall bladder, because Dr. Nelson thinks I might be having gall bladder attacks. Minor set back, and I trust her explicitly. I'm having the ultrasound done on the 8th, so I'll let you know the results when I do. Other than that, we're all pleased with where I am now. I feel great, this year. I added an updated photo for you guys. I haven't really lost much in the past couple months, but I am still getting smaller. Exact opposite of my first 6 week post op appointment. I'd lost a considerable amount of weight, but I was still the same size that I'd been before surgery. I'm still twenty pounds away from the goal that Dr. Nelson set for m, but I've made the goals I set for myself.









This is Erica, Dr. Nelson's PA, and I on the 28th. (left) Erica is the nicest person. She's so encouraging and sweet! She always so happy to see you! This is Dr. Nelson, my surgeon, and I. (right) I love Dr. Nelson, she gave me back my life. Gave my kids back their mom. Thank you guys! You two are the best!

I've been watching this season's biggest loser. I love that show, I used to want to be on it! The whole being on camera in a sports bra and spandex short though....just thinking about it made me want to throw up! I don't think I could have done that! Kuddos to the women brave enough to inspire us all! It's inspired me to get my stationary bike out. I should exercise more than I do, it's just hard to find the time. I work nights, sleep while my kids are in school, and help them with homework and spend time with them for a couple hours before I have to head out for work. My bike is something I can do while I watch TV, because it's super quiet. Now if I could figure out how to do that, and be online at the same time, ha ha ha! The only problem I have is after a few minutes the seat becomes extremely uncomfortable! It didn't used to be that way, but I guess I'm missing some padding back there that I used to have. I don't know what I can do, if anything, to make the seat more comfortable. I need to try padding it, or something. Anyone got any ideas? I'm thinking, or hoping, that on my days off it might be nice to go on a walk with the kids after dinner. It's starting to get chilly here at night already. It's usually still pretty warm this time of year. I know Halloween's gonna be really cold!

I am having some qualms about exercising though. I know they're probably silly. I'm just about where I want to be size wise. I wouldn't be bothered by losing one more size, but I don't want to get smaller than a size 6. Personally my goal was somewhere between a 6 and a 10. Right now I'm a size 8. I'm afraid of losing too much. I don't want to lose so much that I don't look or feel healthy. I can't wrap my mind around a size 4. I'm happy where I'm at now. I know the importance of exercise and I want to be fit. How to I exercise and get fit without losing too much more?

Those are my thoughts for today. That's what's going on with me! Hope everyone is enjoying their week!

sick and tired of being sick and tired

Well I broke down and went to the doctor today. I threw up last night, and I HATE throwing up. I had to admit defeat and call the MD up. I started having some major issues with my allergies about two weeks ago. They were whooping my butt, I'm not gonna lie. I tried an OTC antihistamine, but all that did was make me sleepy. Well Dr. McCauley says I've worked it up to bronchitis, yay. The first time I ever had bronchitis, my Mom and I got it together, and man we were both sick bad. Heck, if I remember right it may have been near pneumonia for her. I just remember being miserable. I had a pretty bad bout with it while I was pregnant the first time. I think I fought with it about this time every year when I was in high school, but I hadn't had it in awhile. Things are a little different now though. I have kids now, and I work fast food....can't have everyone getting sick. Bronchitis isn't really contagious, thank goodness, but I thought I'd better make sure, and after throwing up last night I figured I'd better make sure that's all it was. They swabbed me for the flu, of course....you know, doing their job and all that jazz. I was unpleasantly surprised by how UNCOMFORTABLE that actually was! The little do-hickey they swabbed my nose with hurt, even made my nose bleed a tiny bit. Thank goodness that came back negative though! I don't want the flu, and I don't want my babies to get sick.

Whilst I was there, I decided to check on my referral to OU plastics. One of Dr. McCauley's nurses called several weeks ago to let me know that she had put the referral in, and they should be calling me within a week. I never actually got that phone call, so they're going to call tomorrow and see if we can't get me an appointment soon. I don't know when I'm looking at doing it though. With the holidays coming home I can't exactly take a bunch of time off work. I don't even know how much time off a boob job, or a tummy tuck would require. I'm sure the latter would require more recoop time than the first? I don't know. Paul will be home on leave for nearly all of December, so maybe if I do it early in the month I'll have some time before Christmas hits? Not a lot going on here, other than that. Just working my tail end off and got me some meds to help me get over being sick.

Hope everyone else is doing okay! Kisses! (No wait, with me being sick that might be a bad idea.) How about a hand shake and pass the Germ-X!

I'm BAAAAAAAAAAAACCKKKK!!!!

I'm down about ten more pounds since my last post! YAY, go me! I'm going to be a year post op tomorrow. I can't believe it's gone by so fast, and with hardly any set backs! It's been a bumpy road, and a lot as happened this year, but as far as the surgery front goes, it's been smooth sailing.

a look back......

A year ago today I weighed nearly 300 pounds! I was struggling to zip up my size 22 pants, and no matter how big my shirts were, I was never quite comfortable. I could hardly do anything without being short of breath, and I couldn't even begin to keep up with the pace of my kids! My solution was Dr. Lana Nealson of Oklahoma Weight Loss Options (OWLO). I contacted my health insurance company to find out what I had to do to get them to cover the cost of my surgery, and to find a surgeon that accepted my insurance. I called, set up my first appointment and went to my seminar. I learned that it was going to be a change that I would have to commit to, something I would need to do for the rest of my life. There's a lot more to it than surgery, and eating right afterwards. There are rules to follow, supplements to take, vitamins that are needed. I went to a few support groups, and learned a lot. The couple months between my first appointment and my surgery flew by. I began to see the life I could have, the one that was waiting for me. I won't go as far to say that Dr. Nealson saved my life. I could have gone on for quite awhile just the way I was. Dr. Nealson did something much more for me, she gave me my life back. The only thing worse that losing life, is to watch it pass you by.

I still look in the mirror, and don't particularly like what I see. But now I can go shopping, and the clothes fit, so they're too big. I actually squeezed into a pair of size 8 blue jeans a couple weeks ago. I'm a size 10, and the fit perfectly, if not a bit too big. I can run a mile, and while I still sweat my butt off, I don't feel faint at the end of it, I'm not out of breath. I can keep up with my kids now. I can chase them around the back yard, and swim all day at the lake. My blood pressure is fixed, and I've lost a total of 133 pounds today. I still yo yo back and forth about five pounds. I got down to 161 at one point. I've learned what I can and can't eat. I've learned that moderation is better than denying myself all the treats all the time. Things are better now than they've been in a very long time.

I'm starting to look into plastic surgery now. I've got a bit of that excess skin going on. It's mostly around my gut. It's the hardest part to lose, well I lost it, but it's still there, just not fun to look at. I'd also like to get my breast fixed, they've deflated and they're pretty gross too. The final thing I'd like to get done is my arms. I've got the bat flaps going on, and if strength training doesn't help them I'd like to get that taken care of too.

Today, I'm as happy as I could have ever expected to be. My surgery has changed my life in ways I never imagined possible! My children are happier and healther for the changes I've made, and the changes that have happened in the past year. Thank you Dr. Nealson, you are truely a god send. Thank you OWLO, for teaching me everything I'd need to know, and not letting me walk blindly into the rest of my life. Thank you Mom, for holding my hand, while I got this done. I couldn't have done this without you! And a special thanks to my babies. I would have never saw a reason to fix me, if it hadn't been for them. Today, I'm looking forward to the rest of my life. I see a future there, I never saw before.