Got my first appoitment!

I finally got my call, and not too soon I assure you. I have my first appointment at OWLO next Monday. And I'm going to Frontier City that day too, I'm super excited! My first step to a better, new me!

I belong to two yahoo groups. One has been a major help to me recently. It's a group just for us lucky enough to have our surgeries at OWLO. They're there to offer support and answer questions. I've yet to see a negative comment from anyone in that group. They're all such nice, honest, open people. I don't know how many tips or tidbits of advice I've printed off from their posts. My other group is made up of people that have 100+ pounds to lose. At first these people seemed like kindred spirits to me. We talked of obstacles we faced in our daily lives. We supported each other, and we offered advice, when we had advice to give. Lately however, they seemed to have turned on me, and the one person there determined to support my decision to have a gastric bypass. I was chastised for not losing weight the "right" way. Well PARDON ME, but the "right" way hasn't worked for me! I've thought of myself as fat since I was about 12 years old. That's thanks, mostly to my family. I was 12 and had a 16 year's body, complete with curves. I look back now at the time I got clothes for Christmas at 13 and I was told I had curves, like they were disgusting and something to be ashamed of! I remember looking in my grandmother's mirror and crying because I had boobs and hips! But I also remember exactly what I looked like at 13 too. Now that I'm older, I can't believe how amazing I looked! Yes, I was only 13. Yes, I weighed more than most the other girls. But I was a smoking hot young lady! It was at 13 or 14 that my mom had me start taking Metabolife 356. Remember that stuff? It was an herbal diet pill. I lost 12 pounds on it too. Now, I look back and I'm disgusted that I was asked to take that stuff, and at such a young age!

Have I always been fat? No, I don't think so. I think I've always been a bit of the chubby side, but I look at pictures of me back then and wonder why in the world I thought I was fat! I think it's because I was TOLD I was fat, by people that "loved me," people that I trusted to know what was best for me. I look back, and I was fit, and slender, and I had curves. I had a flat stomach, and I could bench press more than a couple of the boys in my class. I wasn't a fast runner, but I was strong and steady. I wish I could have known then, what I know now. Maybe then I would have been confident too! I want that girl back. I want to be steady, and strong. I want to be slender and fit. I want to look in the mirror and see a beautiful girl, with curves, looking back at me.