These questions are INTENSE for me. Maybe this is part of the reason I can't stick to a "diet"?
What are you afraid of?
What do you think might happen if you lose weight?
How does being fat benefit you?
What do you fear from being a normal size?
1. What am I afraid of?
Where do I start? I'm afraid of the unknown. This is what I've been for so long. What will happen when I'm no longer the fat friend? I'm afraid I'll be one of those people that can lose 150 pounds and still look in the mirror and be disgusted by what they see. I'm afraid I'll work hard, lose the weight, and still see ugly when I look in the mirror. Worse yet, I'll lose weight and still be worthless.
2.What do I think might happen if I lose weight?
I think, or at least I hope, that I'll finally be able to like myself. I think it would approve my health, as well as my life. I want to be around for a long time. I want to be a good parent for my kids. I want to be a good wife for my husband. I think, if I lose weight. I'll be a happier person. I'll be able to do fun things with my kids......go to the lake, to the amusement park, and not have to worry that they're embarrassed of having the fat mom.
3. How does being fat benefit me?
It's a hiding place. I don't have to be noticed. I don't have to come out of my comfy hiding place. It's where I'm comfortable, because it's who I have become. It's where I'm allowed to feel bad about myself. Being fat lets me hate myself.
4. What do I fear from being a normal size?
Lately, to be honest, I afraid I'll look just like my sister. She's always been skin and bones, and I personally find very skinny unappealing. The last week she was pregnant, her face was swollen, and she looked remarkably like ME. It was weird! I'm afraid, if I lose a bunch of weight, I'll look just like her. Which normally wouldn't be a bad thing, everyone thinks she's beautiful. But my husband doesn't like her, and I'm afraid if I look just like her, he might be stand offish. Other than that, I'm afraid of buying new clothes. I have a hard time spending money on myself. I feel undeserving, to say the least. Being a normal size will mean buying a whole new wardrobe, and seeing how I'm currently a size 22, it might mean doing it twice!
Ugh, I hate the tough questions.....number four wasn't so hard though! Kuddos to you all, feel free to use em yourself! Sarah
Weightloss at a Glance!
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2 comments:
I find it heart breaking that you would fear looking like your sister. Maybe the fact that she is "beautiful" makes you jealous. Those words could be very hurtful if she ever read or heard them. Your husband may not like her based on her personality but no one should be judged by their looks. You should strive for a body that you would love and be comfortable in. Do not go for a body that satisfies your husband because anymore these days husbands are not permanent; families are. If someone wants to be stand offish they will find a reason even if you think you have covered all the basis.
Number 4 wasn't a hard one? Harsh. Heaven forbid your sister stumble upon your unappealing comments regarding her figure of skin and bones. Maybe you should put into consideration that that is just the body that God gave her and she has to deal with criticism from her peers just like everyone else. No one likes to have their flaws pointed out let alone discussed on the internet. How would you feel if she returned the favor? My guess is you would, to say the least, hurt and upset. You should be thankful for your family including your sister regardless of their outer appearance.
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