Getting down to the wire!

I start my 10 pre-op diet in 6 more days! It's crazy! When I think of my time line in those terms, it seems like my surgery is just next week! I've got to go to my Diet Class and Post-op orientation on the 4th. That's an almost all day thing. And I need to run by academy, and get Austin some football pants. Then I start my diet on the 6th. That should be fun. My nieces first birthday party is the 6th. So is Austin's first football game! Busy day for me again! Then I have my pre-op appointment the 8th! I'm so excited! I can't wait!

When I first started telling people that I was having a gastric bypass, I got a lot of negative reactions. I was kind of shocked to be honest, and disappointed to say the least. That's changed though. All the football Mom's know, and they're really supportive. They ask a lot of questions sometimes, but at least none of them act like I'm laying my life on the line to be thinner. One of the other Mom's actually had a gastric sleeve about three months ago! That's a miracle, seeing how there are only a few of us. (I live in a small town of a bout 600 people.) Anyway, they're mostly really supportive, and pretty curious too.

So, I feel like I have the support in place, even when Paul leaves, to be okay. My brother said he'd babysit so I can hit up my support group meetings. They have them twice a month. (He's trying to get the money to buy a truck, he'll do anything for 15 bucks! LMAO) We've still got our fingers crossed that they'll let Paul come home too. If not, I might be up a creek without a paddle. At this point, I'm choosing to have faith in the military system. It's never worked for us before, but I have to believe that it will this time! I'm gonna need his help, and the kids really do need to spend some time with him before he deploys again!

Anyway, it's getting down to the wire now. I'm still not nervous, just getting more excited everyday! I can't wait for the new me! I keep telling myself....this time next year.....!

Happy Labor Day, hope you all have a blast!
Sarah

medical alert bracelets

I bought my medical alert bracelet this morning! It's sooo pretty!



Now I feel completely prepared! I should get it before my surgery. The site said 5 - 10 days. I paid the extra $2.50 shipping so it wouldn't take 2 to 3 weeks. One more step towards the new me!! Only 17 more days and I'm on the "losing" side! I can't wait, I'm so excited!

Hope you all have a fatabulous Labor Day weekend!
Sarah

New favorite snack!

Geesh, I'm blogging a lot today, lmao!

Anyway, I have a new favorite snack. Vanilla Bean Almonds! They're Blue Diamond brand, and I found them at WalMart. 24 almonds is about an ounce. They're a little sweet, but not too much, I think they're just right!

Oven Roasted Vanilla Bean Almonds

INGREDIENTS: ALMONDS, EVAPORATED CANE JUICE, NATURAL FRENCH VANILLA FLAVOR, SEA SALT, CORN MALTODEXTRIN, AND VANILLA BEAN SEEDS. PEANUT FREE. MAY CONTAIN OTHER TREE NUTS.

I love em, cause it's a satisfying snack, but when I'm full it doesn't make me feel like I'm over eating. I love the raw natural blue diamond almonds too.

I know sometimes I just want something a little sweet, and sweet is a kinda a no no after surgery. These are the perfect solution!

Oh, and the back of these little containers have dashes to help show you each one ounce serving! Totally awesome, and they sell a bag with single servings prepackaged, so you can grab one and go. You don't have to count em out! (I've only seen those in the raw natural almonds though!)

OMG, first WLS emotional moment!

I got this web page off Eggface's blog.

Now, I knew going into this that I would lose weight. I knew, that if I did what I was supposed to, that I wasn't going to be fat for the rest of my life. I've been really really excited about it too. I was just thinking this time next year, I'm not gonna be FAT anymore. I might not be thin, and I probably won't be to my goal yet, but I wasn't gonna be fat anymore.

I didn't realize that I didn't have my head quite wrapped around that, like I thought I did!

I went to this web page. Filled out the stupid little BMI calculator.....only this one asked how much of your excess weight you wanted to lose. Duh, all of it! So I typed in 90%. Up pops this little paragraph, that my ideal weight is 138 pounds. If I lose 90% of my excess weight, I need to lose 141 pounds. It says that after bariatric surgery I can expect to lose this weight over the next 12 to 15 months, and then I can expect my weight to begin to fluctuate up and down a couple pounds a month. Blah Blah Blah. I know all that already. Then BOOM, it says below is a graph of how your weight might change after surgery.



This put it into perspective like nothing else had. My first OMG moment! I burst into tears, like an emotional wreck, because this is a possibility for me! I might not lose 90% of my excess weight, I know, but it's possible. If I work on me, and let the surgery work for me, this is an actual possibility for me! It's finally hit me. 18 days til surgery, and I've just now realized I'm NOT doomed to be obese for the rest of my life! I'm NOT going to be the biggest person at Christmas. I'm not going to be the one that has to get off the roller coaster, cause the seatbelt won't fit! I've printed off one copy of this graph to tape to the fridge. I think I'll print off a few more and put them up all over the house! With my "logical" brain this hit me harder than the though of a size 8 pair of jeans. This is gonna be me within the next two years! I'm not gonna be fat anymore! Just looking at this it's hard to get a grip on myself! (What is wrong with me!?!)

Special thanks to Eggface. This page was amazing for me. (I don't know why I can't stop crying! *tears of joy, of course*) I can't believe I almost missed this! My mind is adjusting to the possibilities. I don't know why I couldn't see it like this before! It's amazing, isn't it? I'm sure there were be many many OMG moments after surgery. But I wanted to share my first!

X's & O's
Sarah

http://www.obesityhelp.com/morbidobesity/information/post+op+planner.php

One....Don't I Look Dumb (from the movie Major Payne)

I gained 3 pounds this week. I am NOT amused. I emailed Tiffany about the AMOUNT of food she was asking me to eat. She said I could lay off the last snack, and make the meals smaller, but I still have to eat at least 5 times a day. She also informed that awesome GNC guy, may have screwed me over. I've been drinking my protein shakes religiously. Now, if you remember a previous post praising said GNC guy, you know that he knew exactly what I was looking for. I told him I was looking for a meal replacement protein powder that I could use after gastric bypass surgery. Well, apparently the man sold me something for weight GAIN! Again, I am NOT amused. I feel like I was taken advantage of! I wasted 48 bucks on the crap, and it doesn't even taste good!

I am officially withdrawing my former kudos to the GNC guy in Stillwater Oklahoma. Bad GNC guy, BAD!

On a happier note....my surgery is only 18 days away, woot woot! I'm going to call said GNC guy back and let him know of the grievous error he helped me make, and see if something can't be done about it. I mean, I still have 3/4 of the worthless crap he sold me. Surely he can do something, right?

Hope you all enjoy your Labor Day weekend!
Sarah

motivation

I should have started exercising already, but I haven't. I feel so bad. I want to blame it on all this food I'm supposed to be eating. It's making me really tired. I can't get rested at night! I'm just gonna have to grit my teeth and do it, I know. I've got lots of house work to do. The kids managed to get into the boxes of winter clothes. I can't just put it back up without washing it all again, so I'll be doing laundry for two days straight I'm sure. I want to do a through cleaning of the entire house before my surgery too. I think I'll rest better that way.

Paul still hasn't gotten me the information I need to send a red cross message. If he doesn't get it to me soon, he's gonna wait to long. If we don't get him home for my surgery, I might be totally screwed. At first my mom said she could take a week or two off work. Now she's saying she'll take off while I'm in the hospital. I thought I had it covered, cause I figured my grandma would come down, which she would, if she weren't flying out to Flordia two days before my surgery!

Anyway, I had a lady that I don't particularly care for, get nasty with me today. Tried to tell me that she knows four people now that have died from WLS. I'm not calling her a liar, but I don't think she's completely honest either. I think she's just trying to scare me out of it, cause she knows how excited I am. She's just mean. I usually don't talk to her, but she over heard me telling someone else that I only had 20 days left before my surgery.

Today has just been one of those days I guess. Does housework count as exercise? I'm planning on doing my Gazelle every night while I watch a movie. I got me three new Netflix movies today. I figure if I watch one tomorrow night, and mail it Friday, but I might have a replacement for it by the time I'm done with the other two. If not, I'll do my biggest loser workout tape. That way I don't get too bored.

Been a tough week for me so far, with the exception of last night. I went to my support group meeting. That was fun. I asked the RN that led last night's meeting, if I had to eat all that food, if I was still getting in my protein. He said it sounded logical, but he would prefer to call and ask Tiffany. I think I'll shoot her an email before I hit the hay.

Hope everyone else is enjoying their week!

protein blues

I've got to get back on track, starting now. I still don't mind my shakes, but after being disappointed with the taste of my Muscle Milk, I've stopped drinking them as often as I should. (Let me take a second to remind everyone, that I'm still PRE-OP!!!) I had a slightly low protein lab, so the dietitian wants me to get it up before surgery. Just 22 days away now! I don't mind the taste so much, I mean I CAN get through the whole shake. I don't know, I was just expecting something better after shelling out nearly 50 bucks! Just kind of a turn off I guess.

The other problem I've been having is eating as much food as Tiffany has asked me too. She wants me to have one shake within an hour of waking up....each isn't a problem, at all! But it's the snacks, and the big meals. It's just too much food! If I could do two shakes, which is ALL my protein, and one snack and dinner, that I think I could handle. It's just too much food! I can't force feed myself, it's harder than telling myself "No, you shouldn't eat that!"

Post-op will be different, I think. I won't be hungry, and my stomach will be small. I won't have to eat much, just eat every few hours. Why can't I do that now? As long as I'm getting in my daily protein goal, why do I have to eat so much food?

MY meal plan:

breakfast:
protein shake

snack:
kashi bar

lunch:
protein shake

snack:
beef jerky

dinner:
whatever everyone else is having, just eat sensibly.

snack:
optional

The two shakes alone will get in my daily protein, and I'll just make good choices for snacks and dinner. Then maybe I can get some exercise in, cause I won't feel full to the bursting point!

Have a good week!
Sarah

soynuts

I finally found soy nuts today. Braum's carries them! I got all excited, cause I've been looking for them for awhile now. I had looked at three different WalMarts and couldn't find them! Anyway, I've heard good things about them, so when I found them today, I bought three bags of them. I opened one up in the truck and popped a few in, cause I'd never had them before. At first, I didn't think they were half bad. But the more I chewed the grosser they got to me. Anyone got any tips on making soy nuts yummier? I could sure use some.

I found a website, soynuts.com, and they sell them in 1lb. bags. They have 17 different flavors. I don't think I care for them plain, but they have an onion and garlic flavor that's their best seller. I think I might try those! Hope they're better than the plain ones anyway!

Hope you all enjoyed your weekend!

Comments and Crap

First, the COMMENTS, cause I LOVE comments! You guys are great! I really enjoy reading everyone's blogs. Everyday there's a new post, I get more excited about "joining the club!" The pictures are amazing too! I really can't wait to be the new me. After talking to the GNC guy, I was totally excited that I get to do this for me! I never do anything for me. I'm the push over that's always doing for someone else, because I can't tell people no. Anyway, I love the words of encouragement, and you guys are totally awesome!

And now....the CRAP. First off the meal plan the dietician gave me did NOT go well today. I haven't a clue how many grams of protein I got in, cause I haven't counted them yet. I did it, by the book, for two days, and I am telling you....THAT is a LOT of food! I mean, I'm the fat girl that skipped meals, and only ate once or twice a day. Now she's got me eating three meals and three snacks! I'm sure I can do it after surgery, when I can only eat a couple ounces at a time, but come on! Yesterday I was supposed to have 3 to 4 ounces of a lean protein and 2 CUPS of salad! I so cheated. I had 2 ounces of tuna and maybe 1 cup of a salad. Then I was trying to force down a 1/2 cup of cottage cheese a couple hours later, when I was NOT hungry. It was hot, and I wasn't in the mood to eat. Then I nearly forgot my after dinner, before bed, snack. I had a yogurt, and I LOVE yogurt, but I had to force myself to finish it. Is she trying to make me hate food before the surgery? HA HA HA!!! So today, I didn't have my meal replacement shake for breakfast....I had two pieces of beef jerky. I had my Kashi granola bar thingy for a mid morning snack. I didn't eat lunch at all! I had my shake for an afternoon snack. Then I did a pure protein bar from walmart for dinner. Then after the kids went to bed, I settled down with a book and some more beef jerky. So, let's count that up real quick, shall we?

The beef jerky (times two) that's 42 grams of protein
my kashi bar had 7g
my shake had two scoops of body fortress so that's 52
plus my 8 ounces of milk adds 8 grams
the protein bar from wally world had 17
so that gives me a grand total of..... 126 grams of protein, and my goal each day is 90

So, why do I have to eat so much food?I mean, I could get my protein in two shakes if I wanted to! Heck, that's what I was doing before I went and saw the dietitian. I know it's different after surgery, small amounts throughout the day. But I just don't eat this much food, except at Thanksgiving! OMG, I forgot I had a handful of almonds too, so that's what like 7 more grams, right? Any advice people? My stomach felt weird all day....hard as a rock. I don't know if it had something to do with all the food I ate yesterday, or what was going on. Isn't there an easier way to get my protein up, without force feeding myself? I got it all in today!

That's my rant...hope everyone has a wonderful weekend! I think I'm gonna go to the lake!
Sarah

Milestone Wednesday!

(That would be cooler if it could be "Milestone Monday" huh?)

First things first. I went to OWLO for all my evaluations yesterday. It went pretty good, I think. I got that little breathing thingy-ma-gigger. It's easier to do if you're standing up, is that cheating? I forgot to ask. Anyway, I got to learn all about your target heart rate. Got to walk on a treadmill for like six minutes. That was GREAT fun, ha ha. Then there was dietary. My protein levels are a tad low, so I get to work on getting those UP before surgery. Yay, more food than I can possibly eat, lmao. Then the EKG...that didn't take but like five minutes. Kind of an in and out sort of deal, but she said it all looked good. I always figured my heart worked pretty good. I mean the kids check my "heart beep" all the time! They've never mentioned a problem. Then the psyche evaluation. Man, I thought they were gonna ask all sorts of personal questions, get me boo-hooing. I wasn't really looking forward to that part. Except for the fact that her office was below FREEZING, it wasn't too bad. I probably talked too much, so heck she might think I'm crazy. I asked, but she didn't say.

Now, for the milestone.....I went to GNC today!

It gets better...... are you ready?..... I actually BOUGHT something!

The guys was the nicest! I don't know if it's just me, but usually when I walk into a store (especially if I'm toting dirty toddlers) I tend to get ignored. {Note for the future: Don't let the twins jump on a trampoline, right before a trip to town!} I was really kind of expecting that sort of treatment when I walked in the door. I was totally blown away, when he was done helping whoever was on the phone he walked right up to me, and the dirty toddlers, and asked if there was anything he could help me with! I flat out told him what was going on..... I kinda of expected to be embarrassed. I'm so over that, I don't have time anymore. I told him I was having a gastric bypass next month and I needed a good protein MEAL replacement. (I learned yesterday that not all the powders are meals, go figure.) He led me right to them. Helped me pick out the best brand....something that went with my surgeon's dietary recommendations. He went on to say that he'd owned that GNC for 10 years and he's seen lost of people come through that have had it done. He told me that the transformation was really amazing! I left, after making my cookies and cream meal replacement purchase, even more excited about my surgery! That man was totally nice to me, and it was a totally new experience for me! Most people are just doing their jobs, it's just a paycheck to them. This person was helpful, nice, and he even seemed excited for me! Weird huh? I'm so going back to that GNC, when I need something! (And he gave me a free key chain that will hold all my vitamins....cause I tend to remember I didn't take them, after I left the house!

So, kudos to the awesome GNC guy in Stillwater Oklahoma. Hope you're all enjoying your week!
Sarah

Long day, lots accomplished

I have my physical therapy appointment today. Followed by my dietary, EKG, and psyche evaluations. It was a long day, but I feel productive! I think they all went pretty good. I like to talk, and really don't know when to shut up, so they all got an ear full! We talked about the "size issues" I've been having. I told the woman doing the psyche evaluation, when she asked me how I thought she would deal with it, if I got down to a size 8. I told her, that I wasn't having this surgery for my mom. I was doing it for me, for my kids, even a little bit for my husband. That I was doing it for the kids my kids will have someday. I told her, as mean as it sounds, I don't care what my Mother thinks anymore. It doesn't matter what she wants me to be. I'll be what I want me to be! I'll be the mom that chases her kids around the yard ALL night....not just two minutes at a time. I want to grow old, and be the grandma that takes the babies to the zoo. (Not the fat granny that says, "Okay kids, lets watch some cartoons!")

So, I feel like I have a new lease on life now. I don't care what my mom wants me to be. I don't care if she thinks I'm too heavy, or if I'm too thin. I DON'T CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK anymore! The people that matter are supportive. The people that matter don't care what size I am! Why am I running around like an idiot trying to make a meany head happy? The way I see it, that doesn't make much sense, so I'm not gonna do it anymore!

Yeah, I think today was a good day!

cheated, but had a good day

It's true, I cheated. I had about 10 ounces of Diet Coke last night! I wanted it so bad, I don't know what got into me! I wanted one again today, of course, but it wasn't so bad. I was able to tell myself no without too much pain, ha ha. Other than some fries (and a SMALL dessert of apple cobbler) I didn't do to bad today. I had my protein shake for breakfast. We went out to eat for lunch, so I had a salad, three olives, two ribs, and the fries. Could have been worse, right? Dinner was a cheddarwurst, no bread. That's not that great a choice, I know, but I think I'm getting sick, and I DID NOT feel like cooking, ugh. I'm hungry again, so I think I might take in another shake before I go to bed.

It's been a long day. My oldest had a football scrimmage, and then we were just all so tired! My daughter's been kinda sick, now I'm getting sick! I was supposed to go to a baby shower tomorrow, but I don't know if I'll be up to it. I'm not going if I'm sick. That's the last thing a pregnant woman needs!

I've got another busy week ahead of us, so I might just take the day off. I can't afford to get sick right now! Hope you all are enjoying your weekend! Sarah

Flour

I know flour is a carb you're not supposed to have after surgery, right? Well I ran into soy flour the other day at the grocery store and I was wondering if anyone had ever seen it, or used it? I'm going to look up the nutritional contents and ask my dietitian about it Tuesday. But I was still wondering, is it something you could use to REPLACE regular flour? I mean, surely you wouldn't want to bake bread or a cake or something with it, but what if a recipe called for 1 cup or less of flour, you think soy flour could cover that? It was just a new find for me, and I was wondering if anyone had ever used it for anything. I love to bake, and I bet you could alter the ingredients, use soy flour for a pie crust and make a REALLY yummy pie that would be WLS friendly!

Thanks for all your help, and all your input! I hope everyone really enjoys their weekend!
Sarah

Help, I'm drowning!

I've been trying to make some small changes every week, to the way I eat. I'm trying to get myself ready for the way I'll have to eat after surgery. I bought some protein mix. You all know that, cause I've already blogged about it. I couldn't finish, it just got worse, the longer I drank it. But no worries, I went and got some more pudding stuff! I'm good to go with protein shakes now. I've already kicked rice and pasta out the door. That wasn't too tough. I did buy some pasta plus the other day. I thought when the kids have spaghetti, that I would make them the regular stuff, and try a small serving of protein pasta. It's still got quite a few carbs, though not as many as the stuff I used to eat, and it's got protein in it. I need to write it down and be sure to ask my dietitian about it Tuesday.

I'm having a harder time with bread and Diet Coke. I hadn't had a Diet Coke for about two weeks, and I finally caved last night. I bought a 12 ounce can, and it was SOOOO good. I didn't quite finish it though. Maybe I could get some kudos for that? I drank about 3/4 of it, and it was heaven. I'm still working on bread too. It seems everything is breaded these days. I've got four kids, football practice three nights a week, games another night, now we're adding 4H and I've got all my doctor's appointments! And weirdly enough half of all this takes place on Tuesdays! I'm busy, I don't always have time to cook something. I guess I'm gonna start replacing those "hurry up and eat we gotta go" meals with my protein shake!

Potatoes are gonna be the nail in the casket for me. I'm actually dreading not being able to eat them anymore. A lady at my support group meeting said, if there's something you want really bad, take a bite, and move on. Otherwise you'll just want it more and more and more. Would an occasional bite of potatoes really be that bad afterwards? Like, I've already decided to "cheat" and have one bite at Thanksgiving dinner. That's horrible, isn't it? Heck, I might not even feel up to eating again then. I mean I'll only be about 10 weeks post-op! Maybe Christmas then? I figure, if I stick to the meal plan 98% of the time, one bite here and there isn't going to throw the whole thing off, is it? That way I don't feel like I have about my diet coke. Where I tell myself no so long, that I go binge of potatoes! Gosh, that sounds like it could be uncomfortable after surgery!

I read a blog somewhere about a woman that was confused because she was dumping after a big cinnamon roll (complete with icing). She said she'd thought it was because she'd had a glass of milk with it this time. Obviously, that's not something you should be eating after WLS. I was under the impression that you wouldn't be ABLE to eat it without dumping. Apparently she eats them occasionally with no problems, but when she added the milk with it, it became one. I guess what I want to know is; would sneaking ONE bite of potatoes once or twice a month be detrimental to my weightloss? Is it going to set me back? I know they don't want you do to it, because simple carbs are addictive. When you take a bite you want another and before you know it, you've eaten a whole plate of mashed potatoes. But what if you could take one small bite and walk away? Is that okay?

Anyway, I'm making attempts to eliminate bread from my diet. I guess Diet Coke is nearly gone, and soon I'll be saying goodbye to potatoes too. And I have to say, when I first heard what my post-op mean plan would be like.....I honestly thought to myself, "If I can't eat sugar, bread, pasta, rice, potatoes, and drink my diet coke....what CAN I have?" Didn't seem at the time that I would have many choices left after eliminating those few things! Oh, and I AM making an effort to stomp out and sugar I was unknowingly eating. I am having trouble finding yogurt though. It all seems to have too much sugar, unless it's plain. Any suggestions there?

protein shakes

I bought me some of that WalMart Body Fortress protein powder earlier this week. I've been replacing a meal a day with one.....usually breakfast or lunch. I'd been doing 8 oz. 2% milk, one scoop vanilla protein powder, 6 to 8 ice cubes, and a teaspoon of cheesecake flavored sugar free pudding mix. At first I couldn't understand why everyone thinks protein shakes are gross! Well, I ran out of pudding mix today..... I'll have to buy some more today. I just made me one with nothing but milk, ice, and protein powder. I wouldn't call it disgusting....but it sure doesn't taste good either. I think I'll stick with the pudding trick! I might get me some strawberries and splenda, see what happens when I do that! Heck I like that better than a slimfast shake!

But here's a question.....on the side of the jug of powder it says keep out of reach of children. I took that to mean they shouldn't eat it, right? But all these blogs have yummy looking recipes for protein ice cream! Should my kids NOT eat that too?

I'm back, and having issues!!!

I'm back online, thank goodness! I thought I might literally go INSANE! Well almost, nearly go insane. The finally fixed my phone line, said there was some lines crossed, so they'd shorted out or something. I don't really get it. I just want it to work all the time, lmao.

On to issues! I'm having size issues again. I'm currently a size 22, I think. The pants and tops I wear are a size 22 or a 3X. I have some 22's that I ordered long ago, out of a catalog, that never fit. I don't know if they're just sized different than what you buy at the store, or what the deal is. Anywho, I'm really looking forward to being post-op and getting into some of my old clothes. I still have LOTS of 20's and 18's even. I'm really really looking forward to being able to shop in the misses department again! The problem is, I have an "ideal" size in mind. I know you don't get to pick what size you end up....otherwise every overweight person would do this, right? If I'm completely honest with myself I want to be somewhere in the 8 to 10 size range. I would LOVE to be a size 8, and I would be completely satisfied if I stopped losing at a 10 or a 12 even! However, I dare not say I'd be happy at a 6, not in front of my mom. She got upset with me, and told me an 8 was TOO small! She wants me to be a 10 or a 12. I don't know why she's so adamant about it! She gets really mad and hateful anytime I mention people I've talk to, who've had WLS, and they're a 6 or smaller! I met a woman at my support group meeting that had gone from a size 24 to a size 0! That's amazing! I mean, I wouldn't personally want to be that small, but she looked great to me! I made the mistake of mentioning it to my mom, and she got MAD at me! Her exact words were, "Well Sarah, I hope YOU (said "you" really hatefully) don't want to do that.....cause that's NOT even cute." I've learned, finally, not to even talk about what size I might be when I'm "done" losing weight. She always seems to hurt my feelings when we talk about it.

The thing is, I'm excited about the possibilities! I WANT to talk about it! I want to dream of the future! I want to fantasize about going shopping, and buying a size 8 pair of jeans! I want to thumb through catalogs and look at all the pretty things I'll be able to wear this time next year! My Mom wants me to have this surgery. She can't stand that I'm fat. But she only wants me to lose so much. She does NOT want me to get smaller than a 10, and keeps telling me to shoot for a 12! It's like she wants me to do this, and she wants me to be excited, but not TOO excited! I've never thought I deserved to lose weight and feel good about myself. When she gets hateful about me being that small someday it's like she's saying, she would like my to be a normal size, and fairly happy.....but not too happy. It's frustrating. No one around me really understands. While most people are supportive...most don't seem as optimistic as I am.

So, you awesome peoples are my support! You've been there, you've done it! AND....YOU don't have a problem with me being a size 8 sometime! Woot woot! Love you guys, hope you all enjoy your weekend!

I won't be around much

The modem in my computer has died on me! Ugh! I can't get online right now. (I'm at my dad's right now.) I'm still waiting on AT&T to decided if I can get DSL in my area. I'm hoping, praying, and I've got my fingers crossed for good measure. I hate dial up, and I HATE paying per minute to be online. Anyway, I'll get the modem replaced, and sooner or later I will be back. I just didn't want you all to think I disappeared!

Sarah

AH! Run for you life! There's a fat girl at the lake!!!

I usually don't go to the lake on the weekends, because it's so crowded. I don't like to get my fat butt into shorts in front of strangers! But the kids were good today, and they helped me with the housework, and it was unbearably hot, so we couldn't go fishing. When we got to the lake, it was packed, probably a dozen different groups of people/families there! Within thirty minutes, it was me, my kids, and a group of four.....that was it! Do I think they left because I showed up? No, not even a little bit.....I was kinda glad I didn't have to parade around in front of a load of people. (But I still think the title is hilarious!)

I was worried I'd have trouble getting outside in this heat. It was still 102 when we hit the lake this evening. We never go before 4, give it time to cool off a tad. The water still felt awesome! I was afraid that I'd hate it in the heat! My daughter and I built an awesome sandcastle.....by awesome, I mean bigger than the other's we've made. After she showed it off to her brothers, she smashed it really good. Looked like fun to me!

Anyway, today was a good day. We got about half of our housework done before it got to hot to do anything else. The house always gets hot between 2 and 5. Then we went to WalMart.....I needed some fly spray stuff.....darn things are too fast for the flyswatter! (Or maybe I'm just too slow?) Picked up some grapes and plums while we were there, and then we headed to the lake for about 3 hours. I love swimming.

On a negative note: I'm trying to get myself accustomed to not drinking diet coke, or eating some of the naughty things after my surgery. I've already stopped eating rice, and pasta....and I'm working on bread right now. I haven't had a diet coke in what.....like two weeks? I totally caved today though. I had a large diet coke from Sonic. It was soooo hot and I wanted it soooooo bad! But, my resolve has stiffened! NO MORE DIET COKE! (Bad Sarah, Bad!) In the next week or two I'm giving up my potatoes. That's gonna be the hardest part for me. Say a prayer, cross your fingers.....SOMETHING. It's gonna be tough!

Hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!

Losing Weight

The kids and I have really been enjoying the lake late this summer. But, as August is always the hottest time of the year here in Oklahoma, the "dog days of summer" have really got us bummed. It's been over 100 degrees the past several days, with no relief in sight. I miss going to the lake too! I love the water! I can't wait until next year, after I've lost some weight. I told my Mom she's taking me swimsuit shopping!

She said that was fine, as long as she didn't have to try any on, lmao! She's been doing Jenny Craig for nearly a year now. She's lost some weight, and I think she looks great. She's kinda stalled between the 25 and 30 pound mark though. She's been trying really hard to stick to her diet lately. She said she wants to make her goal weight, by her birthday. (late next month) Last I heard she still had 11 pounds to go. I feel bad for her, cause she's losing heart. At first she ranted and raved about how great Jenny Craig was, and how easy it was to stick to! She even wanted to pay my membership fee and my first week's worth of food as my Christmas gift. I had to convince her, that not only could I not afford it at the time, but I didn't think I could stick to it. My idea of dinner is something yummy, that I made....not some tiny little frozen dinner I nuked! Yuck!

I'm really super excited about my surgery! I can't wait to lose weight while my husband's overseas....and SURPRISE him when he comes home on leave! They're gonna let him come home while I have my surgery, and hopefully while I recover a bit. Then he'll go back to Germany to await his deployment. I'm not sure when he's leaving, heck I'm not even sure where he's going yet this time.....but about 6 to 7 months after he leaves, he'll get his two weeks R&R! It will be super exciting! I could be smaller than I was when we got married! Then, when he's back from his deployment, he'll take leave......I should have lost most my weight by then! (Or, at least I hope so!) I'm already trying to find something really cute to buy to wear! I'm getting catalogs, and when I'm bored I'm surfing the net. I can't wait to be the smoking hot wife he deserves! I can't wait to chase my kids without running out of breath in the first two minutes! I can't wait to go shopping, and shop in the misses department, where all the cute clothes are!

I was talking to my mom about what size I hope to be, when I'm "done" losing weight. I would be happy with a 10, but to be honest, I would really love to be a size 8. My mom says that's too small. I agree that I don't think I would like to be smaller than that. A size 6 is just too skinny, for ME! It wouldn't look good, I don't think. I mean, more power to those women that achieve that size! It's awesome! I just don't think being that skinny is for me. I've always had curves, and I've come to love them! My husband loves them too, lmao. I know they're bound to deflate, but I hope they don't disappear completely! I asked, on my yahoo WLS group, what size they started out at, and what size they are now....and of course how long post op they are. I got one response, and it was totally uplifting! She started out a size bigger than I usually wear now, and ended a size smaller than I want to be!

I guess that's it for today. I know my thoughts are all over the place....but hey, I never said I was always gonna make sense! Take care, hope you all enjoyed your weekend!

50 Things to do instead of snacking

1. Imagine the new healthier you
2. Walk around the block
3. Call a friend
4. Make a list of your Top Ten Reasons to Lose Weight
5. Make a To Do list
6. Turn on music and dance
7. Jot a thank you note to someone
8. Go to bed early or take a nap
9. Read a book
10. Blog or journal
11. Give yourself a manicure or pedicure
12. Plan a healthy meal for your family
13. Surf the Internet
14. Finish an unfinished project
15. Walk your dog, pet your cat, feed your fish
16. Brush your teeth
17. Balance your checkbook
18. Say a prayer
19. Chop veggies to keep on hand
20. Give a massage
21. Clean out a junk drawer
22. Play a game with your kids
23. Try a new route on your walk
24. Drink a glass of water
25. Kiss someone
26. Try on some of your clothes
27. Look at old pictures
28. Rent a video
29. Wash your car
30. Take a hot, soothing bath
31. Update your calendar
32. Work in your yard
33. Start your holiday shopping list
34. Count your blessings
35. Write a letter
36. Fold some laundry
37. Check your e-mail
38. Give your dog a bath
39. Send a birthday card
40. Meditate
41. Hug someone
42. Rearrange some furniture
43. Light a fire or some candles
44. Put your pictures in an album
45. Plan a trip (real or imaginary)
46. Straighten a closet
47. Clean out a files
48. Visit a friend
49. Clean out your trunk
50. Do something nice for someone