Thoughts for June 20th

Yesterday was a wash really. I made some horrible food choices. First I had a bean burrito from Taco Bell, with NO red sauce, so I guess that could have been worse. I even managed to do a mile and a half on my Gazelle, go me! But last night I was tired, and I didn't want to cook dinner. So, we had McDonald's! (Bad Sarah! No cheeseburgers!!!!!) I got full before my meal was gone, so I stopped eating. Don't congratulate me yet though. Instead of getting up and away from the rest of my food, I left it sitting in front of me. It called to me, beckoned me. I lifted the rest of my burger, telling myself I wasn't hungry for it. But what a waste of food, said another voice! The voice of that fat lady that lives in the back of my head. I hate that woman! You paid for it, you eat it, she yelled at me! So I ate.

Afterwards I was so full I felt sick. I was angry with myself about it. You moron, said the first voice, you know, the voice of reason. You didn't WANT that. You didn't NEED that! You should have given it to Austin. (For those of you who don't know, I have an 8 year old with super duper metabolism! He eats more than me on most occasions, and he's a bean pole! I've tried to talk him into sharing some of it with me, but he looks at me like I'm crazy. Not sure why.) He would have gladly eaten it!

So, while the fat lady in my head was satisfied, I was miserable, and berating myself for the lack of willpower over my eating habits.